Bring on the straightjacket.

Or the valium. Or, at the very minimum, the largest size Oreo Overload possible from Cold Stone Creamery. I swear, today is one of those days where I'm thankful I don't know how to use the shotgun J gave me for Christmas. (Really, a shotgun? Since when do I look like I want to be armed? but that's beside the point.) At the very least, the traffic idiot this morning who didn't think he should have to stop for the school bus with the flashing lights and the stop sign out should be thankful I'm not armed. It's just one of those days where everything seems to get under my skin! Like when you get a letter from your youngest's preschool saying you owe more $$ (and not just a couple) for the days he attended during the big school's spring break. Um, I wasn't getting a tuition break because the big school was closed during that week, so why do I have to pay extra? I'm still paying the outrageous monthly amount, so why more? And when you get a bill from the propane people, because you've run out of your pre-bought propane already, and it's only March? And the weather is still having cold spurts? And when the former big cheese of the company saunters in to your cube on his semi-monthly walk-through and says he's heard that your husband's company is in trouble (which it isn't, as far as I know (and hope)). And when you get a note from the youngest's teacher about the Easter hat parade, where I need to create an Easter hat by the 1st. Which is fine, but how many masculine Easter decorating things are there? I'm hoping Michael's has some sort of foam cowboy hat and some not-too-feminine Easter stuff. And how about the fact that I can't even go to the grocery store without it being some major ordeal, and I get at least one comment about how I have my hands full, and a few bless-your-heart looks! Will I ever be able to go anywhere and not be publicly humiliated? What am I doing wrong? All these other families manage to calmly go down aisle after aisle of food (or stuff) and not spend it screaming or being screamed at! And will the kids ever just do what they're told, the first time? It'd be so nice to have a morning where there was no fussing or fighting or whining! Where everyone just got up, did what they knew that had to do, and got out of the house? I could probably go on and on, but if anyone's read this far, I probably shouldn't, for fear that noone will read me again!

So here's how I guess I'm going to avoid the padded room. Or try to, anyway. By chanting the following to myself.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

And probably by indulging in the smallest possible Oreo Overload. maybe.